joy.

It has been three days since we have gotten back from honduras.  As expected, once in honduras I had no desire to track down the internet to blog.  However so much happened and I really wish I would have tried harder to blog because now the emotions are overwhelming and sometimes that is so difficult to write about.  Dan asked me what I had learned from being in Honduras this time and as I explained to him, sometimes it just feels like God sits you down and for hours just teaches you and so you learn so much and you are moved so much that it is hard to exactly explain the biggest parts of his lesson.  I guess though I should just start though by talking about the trip.  The good, the bad, the sick, the hard, the joy.  Here it goes.

Well this time we only had 10 days and really only one small project: chicken coups.  We ended up finding a man in Porvenir who offered to build the coups for cheap.  So he cut down some bamboo and sticks and we got a few scraps of wood and tin and the coups were built.  We didn't really know what we were doing.  Neither Katlyn, Dan, I, or Christina (a past volunteer who went down with us), knew anything about chickens and their needs.  We asked questions and tried to put it all together.  Apparently chickens are more high maintenance than we expected.  They need a certain amount of sunlight, a certain amount of shade, a place to roost, a place to sleep, a place to go when it rains, antibiotics to stay healthy, certain food that helps them lay eggs, etc.  We never even did end up getting chickens in time for us to see them, but they will be delivered soon.

We never got a better picture of the chicken coups but this was the start!

So besides the chicken coups we only really had one other task: to play with the kids.  And play we did.  We couldn't wait.  I can't really describe that feeling... the feeling of trying to sleep in an airport when you know in the next few hours you will be with the families and children you have dreamed about seeing again since the day you left.  All I know is that it is good, so good when you are there.  When I could meet baby Allison for the first time.  She is beautiful.  Literally stunning, and so happy.  

Faces like hers.  That is why we came back.  When we got there there was so much joy.  We couldn't wait to run around and see everyone.  There was so much excitment in those moments of seeing Milades and Fanny and their children.  In seeing the kids from our kinder and their parents.  Of seeing our crazy 'grandma's.  It was so good.  

 However, on new years eve we did run into a few problems. I had been up the entire night with what I thought was just your typical stomach bug.  However within a few hours in the morning I realized it was getting much worse when I could barely move or talk and was having hallucinations... quite scary.  I do think it was much scarier for katlyn and dan though.  I mostly slept and cried until dan and our good friend danny who lives in Porvenir took me the hospital.  Its hard for me to remember all of it because I was so out of it but once we went to the hospital my temperature was about 105 and I pretty quickly had to be given an IV.  I was so thankful for the care there.  Of course it wasn't the same.  We definitely ran into our issues.  Inability to find my veins for the IV, broken IV bags causing more blood loss, allergy shots because they couldn't figure out what my allergy to Sulfa meant in spanish, confusion, lots of drugs, lots of pain, lots of being scared.  It was hard.  Yet dan took such good care of me at the hospital.  I have never felt so cared for or in need of so much care and love.  It turns out that whatever it was became a really bad intestinal infection that ended up getting into my joints.  I have never been in such pain.  All that to say that new years night was not exactly the fun we had hoped for.  Dan and I stayed back from the festivities and I slept, a lot.  However it was needed and a lot of learning and love came from it. crazy what god uses.

Anyways, the rest of the time was incredible.  More playing with kids, more families loving us, more of us loving them.  I felt pretty weak and tired for a while and katlyn, dan, and cristina all ended up getting some degree of a stomach bug.  But really all of that didn't matter.  Not when we had little kids around screaming and running for us to come play.

 Of course, time with the twins and bessy was so good.  The twins mom who lives in the states sent us back some presents for them which was such a joy to watch them open.  I think when we are here, Dan misses them the most.  They are beautiful little girls and so smart.  Being around them is such a blessing that is hard to explain.  Life just makes a little more sense when we are with them.  Maybe its because they are so happy.  I do not know.  All i know is that spending time with the precious girls is something that definitely a gift.

 So what did I learn this trip.  I learned about joy.  Holding Allison and knowing that she was alive, healthy, and beautiful.  That was joyful.

I also learned a lot about being thankful. I could talk about that for a long time.  Having Milades feed the four of us four times - that was sacrifice, yet her way of thanking us.  Fanny offered to wash our clothes because that was her way of saying thank you.  When I was sick another family made us soup to care for us and say thank you.  Lets be real-  Milades named her baby Allison just to say thank you.  I want to be thankful like that.  I think its okay to be blessed the way we are here in the states but I believe even more that we should be thankful.  Truly thankful. 

Even though it is hard to be back and starting classes already, it is good.  Good because i know we will go back.  It is good because my heart longs to be with the people of Porvenir and that only means I have been blessed enough to love and know them.  Although I am overwhelmed at what God has taught me and right now it seems like too much, it is in his timing and so I know it is good.  I have a little bit of a new feisty side in my heart though because I have to be honest, I am mad about a few things.  I am mad that our friends there do not have enough to eat.  I am mad that some of our friends have to literally move everything they own when it rains or it will be flooded.  I am mad that there is so much excess here and so much depravity there.  I am praying the lord will give me a peace about all of that because right now i am still angry and do not know quite what to do with that.  But I am more thankful that God used those ten days to teach me so much.  Dan and I are blessed because we have been given the gift of Porvenir.  It has brought us so much joy.

we're off again

Its still surreal to say, but yes we are heading back to Honduras.  In fact we are leaving later today.  So i thought we should let you know that.  A few months ago we decided we had to come back.  Some of the families we are close to were struggling and our hearts went out to them.  Katlyn, Dan, and I looked up prices and the tickets were cheap enough that we could go.  Of course tonight we will have to spend the night in the Atlanta airport, but there is always a cost to cheap plane tickets.  We are so excited.  This semester of school was really difficult.  Classes were hard, I was working a lot in the hospital, and was busy just about all of the time with young life.  But it was also a sweet semester.  Christ was good in all of it and continually drew me closer to him. And now he is giving me/us a break. I am excited to go back to Honduras. I am excited for the warm weather and for the peace the simple life there brings. But I am the most excited to see friends.  I am excited to finally meet baby allison.  Amazingly, Milades gave birth to a perfectly healthy baby allison a few weeks after we left.  I am excited to see our kinder kids, to see the twins, and all of our little friends.  I am not sure what updating the blog will look like since we are only there for 10 days.  I probably won't want to spend much time on the internet.  But I will do my best.  This time we are mainly going just to visit and help out some of our friends.  Our plan is to build a chicken coup or two and buy some chickens for some friends.  Its funny because none of us know what that looks like.  How do you build a coup? But thats what we said about the bunk beds and that turned out perfectly fine.  So here we go.  another adventure.  We are blessed, we know that.  We ask that you continually pray for us as we figure out what God wants out of these few days there.  This is the best christmas present any of could have asked for.

we're back. (post from airport)

(This blog was written 2 days ago... we are home now.)  I am sitting in the Atlanta airport right now.  It is 4:44 am in the morning and I am tired and freezing, but mostly freezing.  But I have done this before.  The whole sleeping in the airport is not new to me since a 16 hour layover always calls for a cheaper plane ticket.  Believe it or not- I am enjoying it this time.  Dan is sleeping on the floor, Katlyn is sleeping on the chairs, and the little boy Jason who we are taking home is sleeping next to me.

This time is giving me time to reflect.  A friend texted me when we landed in Atlanta and asked how my trip was and I responded ‘good, but I have to process.’  I think this layover has been a good time to process.  Especially since I haven’t blogged since Nicaragua, I have a lot to say.  So first, Nicaragua.

Nicaragua.

The 10 days spent traveling in Nicaragua were crazy.  They were crazy for multiple reasons.  First, we were able to see so many old friends.  Douglas, Karla, Lenin, Serigo, Aracelly, Oscar, Jessy, Ernesto, Eduardo, David, Ludem, Aaron, Karla, Carla, and so many more.  We were able to do so many things.  Dan surfed in the Pacific, I got incredibly tacky fake nails compliments of Karla, and Katlyn was able to practice her dance moves.  The three of us learned what a tight budget meant and we learned that sometimes food can be sacrificed and you can still live.  We traveled by bus almost every day which became quickly exhausting.  We crossed the boarder (which is super stressful by foot FYI).  We took extremely scary taxi rides, kind of sort of went to an important soccer game, ate a lot of Tip Top chicken, laughed a whole freaking lot, got mad at eachother, fell more in love with eachother, and more in love with our friends.  These Nicaraguans really mean so much to us and I cannot really start blogging about each stop and homestay individually.  I don’t want to type that long and you do not want to read that much.  Just ask in person. Here are some pictures of our sweet friends and good times.

Back to Porvenir.

One thing we did realize while traveling so much, was how bad we wanted to be back in Porvenir.  Not that we didn’t love Nicaragua, its only that while we were traveling, we realized how much we had fallen in love with the people of Porvenir and the town itself.  Also, the beach house felt safe.  We had a bed and a door that locked and for once we could all fall asleep without taking shifts.  It felt so good.  Plus, the last four days in Porvenir were the best (minus the infestation of lice).

dan and i with our lice caps on...

Kinder.

Kinder was hard to leave.  We had two more days when we got back to finish Kinder and it was sad.  We LOVE these kids.  On the last day we distributed backbacks with toys and school supplies in them that were donated by friends and family and people we don’t even know (thank you.) Each and every single one of them looked precious as they walked home smiling and jumping around but it was so sad to walk the kids home from kinder knowing it was our last time.  I do not know how Katlyn did it without breaking down.

Surprise Party.

The last four days in Porvenir also included a few parties.  The biggest one was a surprise party that all of the mothers in Porvenir threw for Katlyn.  Rosa (the kinder teacher) and Dan and I had talked briefly about a surprise party before we had left for Nicaragua but I had no idea how big and amazing of a surprise party she had in mind.  Although multiple times the party had been given away to Katlyn and I thought she had to have known about it for sure, she never found out.  The surprise party was a surprise to me as well.  It was huge.  The mothers made enough food for over 100 people which was such a sacrifice and so beautiful to see.  The kids dressed up and sang and danced.  The twins and Bessy also put on beautiful dresses and danced a traditional dance.  There were really emotional moments but always broken up by something funny or cheerful.  These moms were in the best mood.  Seriously.  They were all on their ‘A game’ dancing around and being hilarious.  You could see in their eyes how much they loved and appreciated Katlyn which was incredible to see for me.  I wanted her to know how much she was needed and wanted in Porvenir and this party was the way to do it. 

dance party

sweet abuela who we love so much.

Best Date ever.

Dan and I were able to go on a date before we left.  We went to Cayos Cuchinos which are a group of islands that seem unreal.  They look as though they are pictures taken from a magazine.  We were able to snorkel around some incredible reefs and see some pretty incredible things.  The trip in general was also needed.  We both were aware that we had so much on our hearts and minds and Cayos Cuchinos was an excuse to be together and relax and have minimal tasks to complete except for play with the local children and snorkel.  It was really an incredible date and I felt so loved by Dan that he didn’t see it just as a trip, but as a date that he really wanted to go on with me.  Just me.

struggling...

Final Day.

Our last day in Porvenir was bittersweet.  I will always remember this day.  It wasn’t out of the ordinary except instead of saying see you later to some of the families, it was goodbye, and goodbye always sucks.  Mothers and Grandmothers who have become so dear to us were in tears and holding onto us tight.  And I loved and hated that all at the same time.  Milades, who went to the doctor while we were in Nicaragua was told that her baby girl is due the 28^th.  We were so happy to hear that she said she will go to the hospital when her time comes which is such a gift from god, so thank you for praying that.  She is scared of course, but she understands that it is necessary especially since we will not be there.  Her sweet self threw us a goodbye lunch at her house and we were able to spend a few hours with her and the children.  Dan and I talk about these children non stop.  They are so precious and truly show me the love of Christ.  They are fragile and perfect and strong and joyful and incredible.  Spending time with them was the perfect way to leave Honduras.  Something happened during that time that I will never forget.  Milades had never really knew my name, and I knew that.  But since we spent so much time together, it was one of those things that it would have been weird for her to ask me this far into the relationship so we worked around the obvious.  Also, Milades did not have a name for her baby.  We had spent some time talking about the baby’s name, but she said her mom had named all of her other children and since her mom has passed and this is her first child since her mom passing, she didn’t have a name.  When we were at her house that final day, she looked at Katlyn and said, what is your sister’s name again?  Katlyn said Allison and then without hesitation she looked at me and said, that is what I am going to name my baby girl.  Allison.

Here are some pictures from our last day at Milades house

katlyn and i with milades!

Processing.

Like I said I have a lot to think about.  A lot to process.  Obviously.  I will try to blog about that soon as soon as I sort it out in my head.  Writing this blog brings a lot of emotions and suddenly this airport is the last place I want to be.  I want to be wrangling up kids in the kinder, building bunk beds with Victor, taking Milades and Fanny’s kids to the beach, holding Roiley, teaching the twins and Bessy English.  I even would rather be sitting in the beach house picking lice out of eachothers hair by candle light when the power goes out.  Anything there, not here.  Honduras was hard at times- actually it was the hardest.  But it was the sweetest.  I pray I can go back soon.  I pray that sweet baby girl Allison is born safe and healthy.  I pray that I will never forget what I have learned.  I pray that Dan and I never take for advantage the 5 weeks we spent there. 

Travel

so it has been about a week since i last blogged but that was because that we were traveling all over Nicaragua for the past 7 days! it was an incredible experience and we got to see all the people that we know and love from Nicaragua, there were a couple that the girls and i didn't get to see but there is always next year i guess! we Traveled to Esteli, Managua, Leon, Matagalpa, and San Ramon and stayed with all the young life leaders on staff from those cities and had and incredible time with all of them! Every city was so different but i have to say that my favorite was Leon the city was very well kept and the buildings and history there was all so beautiful! From Leon we also got to go the the Beach! first time surfing in the Pacific ocean for me! and i must say that the waves were huge! i would say like 6 to 8 feet breaking off this pretty dangerous jetty that you basically had to stand on in order catch the waves but it was incredibly fun! we will be back on a little later to upload pictures but for now the internet is very slow and hard to upload this blog! coming home in 5 days!!!
   p.s Allison and I have had great pleasure in laughing at Katlyn for her infestation of Lice in her hair.... Come to find out as of 10 minutes ago ALLY AND I DO TOO!!!!! at least our aren't black! or the "mother lice" as Anne Frann says!

Nicaragua at last

I can't really believe we are here. If you know me you know how much Nicaragua means to me. The first time I came here was in 2004. I haven't missed a year since. This place redirected my life in so many ways and for that this place will always be feel like home in so many ways. Leaving porvenir was hard. We finally took milades to get an ultrasound to find out that her baby will be breached and the umbilical cord is wrapped around her neck. So we went to the hospital to wait for 6 hours for the doctor to say he couldn't see her. Messed up. We are not sure what will happen but the ultrasound did show that the baby still has about 3 to 6 weeks based on age. Anyways we are now here in nica. We spent yesterday in esteli but are temporarily in managua picking up a dear friend jt who us going to spend some time here. Were at the airport hence the Internet connection. Since arriving here we have had so much fun. Duh. Being reunited with such incredible god loving people us always needed but especially now .tonight we will get to see so many more of our friends who we miss so much. Dan looked at me yesterday and said... Ally you look happier. I am. Nica does something to you. It helps you breathe and see a little more clearly. At the same time we are all thinking so much about milades and her sweet baby are safe. Please please please keep them in your prayers. We will update you all on our precious time Here in Nicaragua when we can.